12.01.2009

Complete and Total Adoration.



I remember what you wore on that first day. You came into my life and I thought Hey, you know this could be something. Everything you do and words you say, you know that it all takes my breath away and now I’m left with nothing.

My gift to you, my heart was yours. In ten weeks you shaped it, in one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, that first step you took was the worst. Since then you’ve walked a thousand miles in silence and short remarks. I still have these memories, but we’ll never see what we could’ve been.

Remember when we talked about where we’d be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you’d never let it go? Remember, because that’s all you can do. We’ll never make another memory. We’ll never make another memory.

It hurts my soul because I can’t let go. All these walls are caving in. I can’t stop my suffering. I hate to show that I’ve lost control because I keep going right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from. I’m about to break. I can’t stop this ache. I’m addicted to your allure and I’m feeding for a cure. Every step I take leads to one mistake. I keep going right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from. I can’t mend this sore state I’m in. Getting nothing in return, what did I do to deserve the pain of this slow burn? Every where I turn, I keep going right back to the one thing that I need to walk away from.

I wish I would’ve died in your arms the last night we were together, so I wouldn’t have to wake without you today. This time I thought things we’re real; you said they were. What happened? You were a priority, was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don’t share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. I knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart. I’m sorry that wasn’t enough.

And this will be the first time in a week that I’ll talk to you, and I can’t speak. It’s been three whole days since I’ve had sleep. I got the point that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I’m not that strong. I miss the lips that made me fly.

I don’t know what to do. My heart has been bruised. So sad, but it’s true. Each beat reminds me of you. I should’ve known that I was used for amusement. I couldn’t see through the smoke. It was all an illusion. Now I’ve been licking my wounds, but the venom seeps deeper.

[[I guess that I can live
without you
but,
without you
I'll be
miserable at best.]]

So we’ll go our own ways, and hopefully you will remember the things I’ve told you. Hopefully you’ll understand that everything I said was in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, but I guess I’ve learned from it. But aren’t you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don’t consider this a mistake;
I just wish the story didn’t end this way ‘cause

 I’m still [in love] with the person who helped me write it.


{SONGS USED}
Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift
A Year From Now by Across Five Aprils
Walk Away by Christina Aguilera
Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade

1 comment:

becca. said...

Um, I'm in love with this.