9.10.2009

Hurt.

My body hurts today. It's not a physical hurt, though. It's somewhere within me. I can feel the tension beaming in my wrists and the hurt running down my legs, and into my toes.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I don't like feeling this way.


I feel like my life's been on repeat these past couple weeks. Even though I could make a list of things that have recently happened in my life, I feel like I'm living the same life over and over every morning when I awake.
I feel so dramatic feeling like this, but I don't know how to describe it any different way.

9.08.2009

That Edge.

I had a dream last night and it describes exactly how I've been feeling lately.
I was on a boat that I didn't want to get on, but for some reason was. I kept trying to get back to my room, but couldn't remember the number or the hallway it resided in. I was looking for someone, but wasn't sure who it was. I kept telling myself that I needed to get off the boat, but knew deep down inside that there was no way of returning. I felt like diving into that dark blue deepness, but never drew up the courage or the insanity. I remember running up and down the halls; halls that looked like the replica of the one before it. I didn't know where I was going, or where I was headed. All I knew is that I wanted out.


"It was just a dream, Koree... just a dream..."
Yet I realized that it wasn't. Even though I could attempt to calm myself down, I couldn't help but feel hopeless and lost.
I realized that the waves of insanity were... are calling me. The echos of the deep are pulling me into them. The thin air is begging for me to jump through it. The night is growing around me thick, as if pushing me closer and closer to that edge.
I jump.