There's something about being home alone. The feel of my home is different, there is a silence that lingers through the hall... a silence that I crave. I love being able to turn my music up all the way, and not have someone yelling at me to turn it down. I can watch a movie without being interrupted. I can curl up on the couch and mute the TV and just lay in the silence. I can turn all the lights off.
[[This is the silence in my life that I crave. The same silence and comfort that I feel when I'm all by myself. That's the silence that I feel my life currently lacks. Every night this week I've had something going on. I feel like my life has too much consistency. Which can be a good thing most days. Other days I just want to come home and lay in the silence by myself without being bothered.]]
My life just needs to be silenced. I've talked about before on how I've learned how to silence the noise, but some days are harder than others. I can't wait to start a new chapter in my life. New friends. New places. New directions. New environment. New community. New rules. New lives to experience.
I guess I just am afraid that all this 'new' stuff won't happen. When I want something so bad, I tend to not get it. Or if I do, I feel shorted. My expectations were too high.
Well... right now I'm sitting on the couch in my Broncos hoodie, covered by a blanket, laptop in lap, lights all off, Stomp the Yard playing in front of me, with the dog laying next to me. I'm happy.
But someone wise once said...
"Happiness only real when shared."